i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
