Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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