i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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