doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
