He had one of those small greek statue penises
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
pop tarts are not kleenex
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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