They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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