i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
