so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
