She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
it was like eating out sand paper
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
