its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
