i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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