Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize