I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
