so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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