yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
