Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Pappa wants mamma naked
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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