I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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