He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
