This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
