I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
