I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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