Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
