I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
