the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize