wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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