And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Terrible idea I love it
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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