I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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