I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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