I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I just found puke in my bra..
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
