Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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