margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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