he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
my poor anus
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
