Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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