no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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