so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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