i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
