what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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