I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
