Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
