rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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