using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
