I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Randomize
