i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
