So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
