I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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