i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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