a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
