When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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