Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
