I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
