Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
