this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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