i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
