I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
