I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
