so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
