i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
