So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
