FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
