i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
